Now I have no idea who really wrote this since it came in one of those emails that has gone around the world but
I thought it would be fun to share and to take a break from business since business is not always fun.
Not to mention as a dad it is something that comes to mind a lot lately. Enjoy 😉
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________
HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
Number of years they have been married ______________________________
If less than your age, explain
A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?
(IF YOU ANSWERED “YES” TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)
In 50 words or less, what does “LATE” mean to you?
In 50 words or less, what does “DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER” mean to you?
In 50 words or less, what does “ABSTINENCE” mean to you?
Church you attend ___________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
C: A woman’s place is in the:
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
Applicant’s Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
Mother’s Signature Father’s Signature
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.
You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do
not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, and it would
cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be
notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.
Call me directly for a free consultation.
If you have any questions about buying a Santa Maria home for sale in the Santa Maria Real Estate market or any properties on the Central Coastand need to get a loan in Santa Maria, CA or any where in the state of so I California not just on the Central Coast, so I can do California home loans, and first time home buyer loans, as well as refinance home loans and just plain simple mortgage loans. So please contact me by sending me an email at: GenePerez@GMSLoans.net
I do also service all the nearby communities and other markets such as the Santa Ynez real estate market, Nipomo Real estate market, Arroyo Grande real estate market, Grover Beach Real Estate Market, and all other surrounding areas regarding the homes on the Central Coast.
my goal is to provide you with resources you need. I can also help in getting the financing for your home. If you have any suggestions or questions in how I can provide more or better
information please let me know. I have been helping my clients for the last 15 years on the Central Coast, Gene Perez – 805-448-7101 , DRE 01321588
Important Disclaimer: Questions and answers provided on this website and by Gene Perez is to be considered general information, and is not intended to substitute for informed professional financial, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice.
Gene Perez is Licensed Real Estate Broker for Valley Hills Realty and a mortgage broker for Greater Mortgage Solutions.
This blog and its content is copyright of Gene Perez 2010. All rights reserved. Any redistribution or reproduction of part or all of the contents in any form is prohibited other than the following: you may print or download to a local hard disk extracts for your personal and non-commercial use only. You may copy the content to individual third parties for their personal use, but only if you acknowledge Gene Perez as the source of the material You may not, except with our express written permission, distribute or commercially exploit the content. Nor may you transmit it or store it in any other website or other form of electronic retrieval system without obtaining Gene Perez’s permission.
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